50 Shades of Gray(ing)

1.      Well, look at that.

2.      Where’d that come from?

3.      Guess you knew you’d see one at some point

4.      Just pluck it out.

5.      Dang, didn’t you just pluck that out last week?

6.      Uh oh.  There’s one here, too.

7.      Double-pluck.

8.      Oh, crap.  They’ve called in reinforcements.

9.      So what? It’s just a few, right?

10.  Probably, no one notices.

11.  If anybody notices, color.

12.  It’s not really color, it’s a rinse. Color is for girls, right?

13.  They notice.

14.  So what?  At this rate, you’ll be dead before you’re all gray.

15.  Maybe not.

16.  Nowhere close to dead.

17.  (Hopefully).

18.  So what?  It’ll make you look distinguished.

19.  Right?

20.  Besides, you’re just gray-ish.

21.  Still mostly dark hair.

22.  At worst, half and half.

23.  Starting to look really distinguished.

24.  Et tu, mustache?

25.  And beard?  And sideburns?

26.  Ha ha!  Look a gray chest hair.

27.  Hang on. You don’t know any young men with gray chest hair.

28.  Or even young-ish.

29.  Most are called “grandpa”.

30.  You are different.

31.  A very young-looking gray.

32.  Dang, he looks young to have that hair, they’ll say.

33.  Nobody is saying that.

34.  Plucked a gray hair today from eyebrow.

35.  So what? It was just one.

36.  Co-workers start calling you “old man”.

37.  Some are only 10 years younger than you.

38.  They think it’s funny.

39.  They’re just jealous of your wisdom.

40.  You still da man!!

41.  Ha ha! You’re young at heart!

42.  Gray arm hair?

43.  Nah, just be bleached from the sun.

44.  Pluck eyebrows daily.

45.  More gray?

46.  NOT THERE! PLEASE, NOT THERE!!

47.  Calm down, you’ve still got it.

48.  Check body in the mirror.

49.  Side view, not so good. Check front view.

50.  Pull the shades and turn out the lights.

Ain’t nobody wanna see that.